Tag Archives: application process

Beginning Again

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Sometimes the only way to get started is to begin again.

During a surrogate support call I attended, and from an email from the agency, I learned about some unexpected financial complications my journey with the agency would create for my family. I spoke to several people about the issues to see if there was any other remedy to the issues. There wasn’t.

As committed as I was to working with this agency, I made the difficult decision that it was not going to be a viable possibility at this time.

During the time between applying with my first agency and now, I learned SO much more about surrogacy and different agencies. I had no idea there were so many agencies when I first decided to pursue my dream. Based on the new knowledge I have, I am able to choose an agency that will still be as wonderful as the first but that won’t create an undue burden on my family.

I decided to apply with an agency based in Wisconsin. It is smaller than the first, but just as reputable and experienced. I sent an email to the owner of the agency and she quickly replied back with information and an application. One benefit of the frustration I faced getting my medical records the first time was that I had them readily at hand. I completed the application and sent it and everything else requested back to the owner.

The owner is reviewing everything I sent and promised to be back in touch soon.

It’s scary to leave the comfort of the unknown and begin a journey again with someone new. I’ve learned this journey takes patience and faith. It also requires you to go with your instincts and make hard decisions. Leaving my first agency was beyond hard. I was actually fighting back tears as I sent the email. It was a necessary hardness, though. I am choosing to have faith that this journey will eventually lead me to the destination I’m meant for… I know I’ll be able to handle whatever that destination is.

Thank you for continuing to follow me on this incredible journey!

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I like you! Do you like me?

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A few days after “A” and I spoke about the IPs who were interested in me, she e-mailed me to finalize plans for our Skype meeting. The e-mail came on Monday and the Skype call was set for Wednesday… that meant I had roughly 48 hours to finalize my list of questions and plenty of time to be nervous and excited!

I don’t think I slept more than a few hours both nights. My brain just wouldn’t get quiet!

Wednesday arrived and I rushed home to freshen up and get ready for the call. I made my partner change shirts. Twice. First impressions matter, right?!? 🙂

We logged on to Skype and awaited the call. “A” messaged me to let me know the IPs were running a little behind. I was thankful for a few extra minutes to calm my nerves.

The call connected and there on my computer screen were two nervously smiling faces. It felt like a blind date. We had all of the same emotions I imagine. Anxious. Hopeful. Scared. Nervous. Excited. Hoping to make a good impression. Wanting to be liked… to be chosen.

They had an advantage over me in that they’d already had access to my full profile so they knew a lot more about me (and my partner) then I did about them. It was a humbling feeling to know this couple had read all about me and were interested in me carrying their child. I wish I was also allowed access to the profile. It would be fascinating to see what exactly it says about me!

After the initial introductions, “A” did a great job of leading us in conversation. We started off with the basics: Jobs, families, hobbies. It was a good ice breaker for all involved. I could feel nerves subsiding somewhat.

Then we moved on to the harder topics: Selective Reduction, desired involvement/communication throughout and after surrogacy, expectations, thoughts on labor, etc. A lot of these topics ended up being  “none issues” for us because the IPs will only be able to transfer one embryo.

By the end of the conversation I knew in my heart that these were the people I wanted to help. Their story tugged  at my heart. They had faced such difficulties to try and create and then build their family. Despite all of those struggles, they appeared to be so full of hope and positive energy.

They were kind, down to earth, funny and just seemed like genuinely good people. I felt a strong connection to them and it seemed mutual.

“A” told us she would reach out to us both in 24 hours so we each had time to discuss and think about it with our partner/spouse and make a decision. We ended the call and my excitement and nerves were back in full force.

I immediately e-mailed “A” and told her I knew I had to wait 24 hours but that I LOVED the couple and wanted to be their surrogate if they chose me. She said she felt confident they would but that we would wait the 24 hours and then make our final decision.

I didn’t sleep that night except for a few hours on and off. I kept thinking about all of the things I wished I’d said or said differently or didn’t say at all. I had a million thoughts running through my head and was feeling such emotion.

For years I’ve known this was something I wanted, but after that call it became real. I’d actually “met” people who I might be helping. There were faces and names and details that colored in all of the vague mental pictures I’d had of surrogacy.

Prior to this experience with them, I’d spent a lot of time thinking about what surrogacy meant for a surrogate. The physical, mental and emotional toll it takes on a GS. The time investment it requires. The shots and medicine you take. I’d thought about it all.

Of course, I’d also thought about the IPs. That’s why I wanted to be a GS. To help them. To contribute to their family. To give other what I was blessed to be able to have so easily.

But, I hadn’t really THOUGHT about them. It occurred to me during our conversation how frightening it must be for them. I stress and worry when my daughter is with a new sitter for a few hours. What must it feel like to have to trust someone who is essentially a stranger with your baby for nine months? What courage and hope and faith and LOVE that must take.

That realization was very powerful for me. It made this journey I am on seem like even more of a miracle in the making. I desperately hoped that I could be the one to try and bring their dreams to life. repay you quote

The day after our Skype session I checked my e-mail religiously as I waited for a response from “A”. Finally, FINALLY I got an e-mail from her just as I was packing up to leave work.

It said: “[IM] and [IF] absolutely loved you and [my partner] and definitely want to work with you!  They are anxious to get things going as soon as possible.  Are you on board??”

I e-mail her right back and said, “Yes, yes, YES!!!…” 🙂

So, I’m officially matched now! It’s a very surreal feeling. Less than three months ago I submitted that first preliminary application and now I’m matched with an amazing couple.

There’s still a lot that has to be done before we actually (hopefully) get to the “fun” part. Legal contracts. Medical screenings. Medicines and blood work and the dreaded shots! I’m ready for it all, though, now that I know who this is all going to be for.worth it quote

I’m eagerly awaiting word back from “A” on where we go from here. I especially can’t wait to get to know the IPs better! 🙂

How did you feel about your IPs after that first meeting? Tell me about it in the comments!

The Phone Call and Catching Up…

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Less than twenty-four hours after I submitted my surrogacy application my phone started to ring. Checking the caller ID I saw that it was an Illinois number. I held my breath and said in my best ‘I’d make a great mother’ type voice, “Hello?”

It was someone from the agency calling! Kristina told me they’d gotten my application and everything looked to be okay so far and asked if we could schedule a time to talk. I made the appointment for the following afternoon, hung up the phone and sat in my desk chair staring at my computer screen. I’d read that some agencies can take longer getting back to you. I couldn’t believe I’d been called in less that 24 hours!

I immediately went back to my previously made lists and started double checking to make sure I had all of the questions I wanted to ask written down. I ended up adding a bunch more. That day seemed to drag on and on.

The next day I waited for the phone call, tried to focus on work and watched the numbers on my clock tick closer and closer to 11:00 am. By 11:05 I had started sweating. Finally, the phone rang and it was K. We talked for about an hour about my application, more details about myself, partner, and daughter, the process and everything involved, etc. Every so often she would stop and let me ask questions. It felt like a very natural conversation and less like the intense interview I had anticipated.

K was amazing. She was warm and friendly and very knowledgeable. I felt a great connection with her. She had delivered twins four weeks earlier as a GC (her second surrogacy), so I felt even better knowing she had first hand experience. At the end of the conversation she told me that I was approved and to expect a welcome email shortly. She went over what would be in it, requesting medical records, scheduling pap smear, and all those fun details.

After my conversation with her I felt even more certain of my decision. Then came the beginning of phone calls! I called and made an appointment (June 9) with an OB/GYN a friend recommended to get my annual exam and pregnancy clearance. I went online to request my prenatal and delivery records from my previous pregnancy with my daughter. I’ve read it can be a timely and frustrating process trying to get them. Fingers crossed it goes smoothly.

That brings us to where I am in my journey thus far. While I wait for my doctor’s appointment and records, I am researching hospitals in my area and reading LOTS of blogs. What blogs do you love? Leave me a comment and let me know!. 🙂