Tag Archives: surrogacy

Life After Surrogacy

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I’ve had quite a few people reach out to me in the past three months to ask about my life after surrogacy. I’ve been asked how I’m doing, do I miss the baby, will I do another journey, etc.

First. Thank you! It means so much to me that you’ve wanted to check on me or have still been interested in my story.

Life after surrogacy has been great. I’ve had absolutely zero feelings of regret or any postpartum issues. As I’ve said from day one, baby R was not my child, and, so, all I feel is a sense of pride and happiness that I played a part in his story. His parents and I keep in contact as time allows. I know how time consuming it is to work and take care of a baby. I do the unexpected pictures or updates, though. They say he is doing wonderfully. He’s healthy, happy and SO very loved. It shows in his pictures and the way they speak of him. It fills my heart with such joy to know their dreams of a family are a reality now.

Physcially, I’m doing really good. I’m still focusing on losing weight and getting back into shape. Once I had R my blood pressure issues completely resolved themselves. Other than my squishy stomach, I tend to forget I had a baby just a few months ago. 😛 Ha!

In the few months since my journey ended, I’ve been a busy woman! My daughter started fourth grade; I left my full time job in retirement planning to go to part time hours and nanny part time so I could have a better balance of work and family time; My partner and I were married on October 18th; We just bought our first home together (we close on the house and move in around Thanksgiving!); and We leave for our honeymoon on November 8th.

To say I’ve been on cloud nine would be an understatement. I feel incredibly blessed and very lucky right now. Our wedding was AMAZING! We planned everything ourselves and couldn’t have hoped for a better day. We were surrounded by twenty of our dearest friends and family members as we said our “I dos” by a lake at local bontanical gardens, and then we had a lunch reception at a restauarant we love.

“So, now what?”

That’s the question most people ask. “Will you do another journey? You were just married. Do you want a baby together?”

Such good questions! They are ones we are discussing together right now.

I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I hope to do another surrogacy journey. There is no other feeling that compares to seeing a couple become parents except for maybe having your own child. It’s an addictive feeling, to be honest. I imagine it’s like completing a marathon. You spend months preparing and training. It challenges you physically, emotionally and mentally. The big day arrives and you give it all  you have and it takes absolutely ALL you have. At the end, you’re exhausted. Your body aches. You wonder how you even did it. BUT, you DID! It’s the biggest high. In order to allow you body the chance to rest and recover after a baby, you need to wait at least six months after a regular delivery. I will be six months postpartum in January, so I have a few months still to decide the WHEN of another surrogacy, since the IF isn’t really a question for me.

That leaves the question: Will we try for our own baby?

Honestly, we’re not sure. Going into surrogacy, we felt our family was complete. My daughter, P, was eight, almost nine. She’s been the only child for nine years. I’m nearly a decade older than I was when I had her. That’s a lot to change. A big factor in deciding that our family felt complete was also the fact that “gay marriage” wasn’t legal in our state at the time I started my surrogacy journey. I knew I didn’t want to bring another child in our family that wouldn’t have the legal protections that marriage offers a child. I didn’t think it would be fair to the child or to my partner.

Then, June happened, and marriage equality became the reality of our country. It caused us to reconsider the topic of family size.

We’re currently discussing our options. It’s not as simple as, “Let’s make a baby!” for a gay or lesbian couple. Straight couples decide to have a baby, and that is that. Assuming they have no fertility issues, it’s just a matter of timing and practice.  That’s, obviously, not the case for us. There’s a lot more involved and that makes the decision something to even more carefully think about. (Please know I realize this isn’t the case for the MANY couples who struggle with infertility or other complciations that make conceiving hard or impossible. I mean this strictly as a comparison between uncomplicated straight couples and that of non-straight couples)

When we make our decision, I will likely blog about it either privately or publicly. I found blogging to be such a good way to keep track of everything, share with others and learn from others. That’s another decision to be made at a later time, though. For now, we’re preparing to leave for our honeymoon cruise and move into our new home. What an amazing year 2015 has been!

I’m really enjoying continuing to follow so many of your blogs and journeys. I love reading about the progress you are making towards your own babies or babies for others and the other incredible things going on in your lives. ❤

Many have you have asked to see pictures from our wedding, so I will upload those in a seperate post after this for easier viewing.

 

 

 

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Baby Update!

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Baby Update!

Sorry for delay in updating, it’s been a crazy few days!   

I’m excited to say that baby R has arrived!

I went to my doctor’s appointment on Thursday, July 16th and was sent straight down to be induced. I’m planning to take some time later and write my full birth story, but I wanted to share the highlights now. 🙂

R arrived at 4:04 am, 17 July 2015, after 15 hours of labor and 53 minutes of pushing. He weighed in at 7lbs 15 oz and 20 inches long. He’s perfection and despite being a couple weeks early, he didn’t need any assistance or extra care. His proud papas made it in time for delivery by just a few hours! What a miracle.

There was a small piece of placenta that was being stubborn in my uterus so it took the doctor a good bit of digging and scooping to get it out. Oh my! I spiked a fever and had really bad chills after delivery. They finally got the chills under control and put me on antibiotics for the fever and possible infection. I’ve had to stay in the hospital to monitor everything, but I hope to be able to go home Sunday!!!

The papas are over the moon and already in love with their precious baby boy. Seeing them together has given me the greatest joy.

Look for R’s birth story soon with more pictures of the big event (with the parents’ permission, of course)! 

Thank you to every single person who’s followed along with my journey, offered support, love and/or encouragement. I’m so thankful to have “met” some remarkable people along the way and look forward to, hopefully, following along with you still. 🙂

Love, Liz ❤

  

Home Sweet Home V

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Have I mentioned yet that being flexible is a key requirement if you want to maintain your sanity while pursuing surrogacy?

I don’t mean the gymnastics variety of flexibility, although I’m sure that couldn’t hurt either. No, I mean the ability to completely create/change/cancel plans often and/or unexpectedly. If this is a problem area for you, you’re in for a bumpy ride!

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Twenty-four hours after I got the call that I’d passed my psych. evaluation and was good to go on my home visit, P called me to schedule the visit. She was going to be flying in from Chicago, so we needed to pick a date and time that would allow for affordable airfare and that would allow my partner to be home also. We matched up our schedules and picked a weekday morning that was my partner’s day off.

Two days later P called and said she’d had a personal scheduling conflict and wouldn’t be able to make the trip. Read the rest of this entry

The Phone Call and Catching Up…

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Less than twenty-four hours after I submitted my surrogacy application my phone started to ring. Checking the caller ID I saw that it was an Illinois number. I held my breath and said in my best ‘I’d make a great mother’ type voice, “Hello?”

It was someone from the agency calling! Kristina told me they’d gotten my application and everything looked to be okay so far and asked if we could schedule a time to talk. I made the appointment for the following afternoon, hung up the phone and sat in my desk chair staring at my computer screen. I’d read that some agencies can take longer getting back to you. I couldn’t believe I’d been called in less that 24 hours!

I immediately went back to my previously made lists and started double checking to make sure I had all of the questions I wanted to ask written down. I ended up adding a bunch more. That day seemed to drag on and on.

The next day I waited for the phone call, tried to focus on work and watched the numbers on my clock tick closer and closer to 11:00 am. By 11:05 I had started sweating. Finally, the phone rang and it was K. We talked for about an hour about my application, more details about myself, partner, and daughter, the process and everything involved, etc. Every so often she would stop and let me ask questions. It felt like a very natural conversation and less like the intense interview I had anticipated.

K was amazing. She was warm and friendly and very knowledgeable. I felt a great connection with her. She had delivered twins four weeks earlier as a GC (her second surrogacy), so I felt even better knowing she had first hand experience. At the end of the conversation she told me that I was approved and to expect a welcome email shortly. She went over what would be in it, requesting medical records, scheduling pap smear, and all those fun details.

After my conversation with her I felt even more certain of my decision. Then came the beginning of phone calls! I called and made an appointment (June 9) with an OB/GYN a friend recommended to get my annual exam and pregnancy clearance. I went online to request my prenatal and delivery records from my previous pregnancy with my daughter. I’ve read it can be a timely and frustrating process trying to get them. Fingers crossed it goes smoothly.

That brings us to where I am in my journey thus far. While I wait for my doctor’s appointment and records, I am researching hospitals in my area and reading LOTS of blogs. What blogs do you love? Leave me a comment and let me know!. 🙂